he shaved USA in his pubs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
