yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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