Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
