uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
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This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
third nipple confirmed
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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