she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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