my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I am midnight drunk by noon
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize