how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish i was in the wii world.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
