Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
As shirtless as possible
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
