At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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