..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
