Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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