some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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