yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
