so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
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I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
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I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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