Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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