i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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