Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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