doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
