was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
