Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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