she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I pour the whiskey from now on
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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