as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
