Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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