Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
