I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
