had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
