My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
