You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
