I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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