It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize