i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
