if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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