Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
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I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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