Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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