I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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