Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
