but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
