I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
