Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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