He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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