Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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