so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
