lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
