He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
