She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
