i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
