I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wish you could order shots online.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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