We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
