i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
