before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize