I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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