so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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