just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
