I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
