he wants to bone in the snuggie
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize