He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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