I'm drive I can fine osifer
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
