exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
