just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
nutella sex= disaster
I love having hate sex.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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