is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
