What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
