I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize