he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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