I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
