You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
