Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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